not the way I imagined

So as Spring Training is just getting underway, the Major League baseball trade rumor's have spit out an intriguing little piece of gossip.

Apparently as they are scrambling to fill a hole in both left field and in the middle of their lineup, the Atlanta Braves are kicking the tires on Ken Griffey Jr. Now I would consider him to be fairly well past his best baseball days, but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't be an improvement over whose been attempting (see also failing) to produce runs from left field.

Apparently Chipper Jones seems to think this potential acquistion is a good idea. He's willing to bat fourth behind Junior if need be, and apparently Junior is willing to platoon w/ Matt Diaz. But that type of a role may be perfect for Griffey's declining skill set.

I've been a fan of Ken Griffey Jr. forever. When pressed to pick an American League team to root for, I would choose the Marniers soley based on their star centerfielder. I've long wished that my favorite player would find a place on my favorte team, and its strange to think that this could happen, and it still won't be the way I had hoped it would be. The version of Griffey that exists today is not one that I idolized.

So if they Braves do sign him, would I say I've gotten what I wished for? Not really. He's a shadow of his former self. Its kind of akin to blinding yourself down in a tournament to the point where you only have 3 big blinds left. You finally look down at Aces, they hold up, and you've doubled up...but because you waited so long, you're still short-stacked and have lots of work to do.

While it seems like its too little too late, I hold out slim hope that he will be the answer.

and I'm fairly certain I'm going to want one of his Braves jersey's

EDIT: apparently this was not to be...while the flip-flopping on this rumor is similar to the Furcal snafu...its actually totally different. He had decided on Atlanta, but had not agreed to any terms. Apparently a hail-mary phone call from Willie Mays convinced him to protect his legacy in Seattle by returning to the M's. Cest la vie. I think its fine. Lets see who Wren goes after now.

say it ain't so, John

So this week all us Atlanta Braves fans across the country have yet another reason to feel slighted this offseason. After 21 years in a Braves uniform, John Smoltz has decided to sign a contract with the Boston Red Sox.



Its a very tough pill to swallow I'd imagine for most Braves fans to see such a longtime player turn his back on the organization that has done so much for him and especially its fans. The only thing that would have made it worse would have been if he would have signed with the Yankees.

With the exception of the acquisition of Javier Vazquez in early December, Frank Wren in his second offseason as the Braves GM has been getting the proverbial shaft left and right. I would say that Smoltz's decision to leave is the very definition of kicking a man while he's down. Not trading for Peavy, missing out on AJ Burnett, getting swindled by Raphael Furcal's agents, and now this bombshell.

The contract Smoltz has agreed to, guarantees him $5.5 million up front, with incentives that could increase his earnings for the year up to $10.5 million. The contract the Braves offered him, guaranteed $2.5 million upfront, with anywhere from an additional $5 million to $8 million in performance based incentives, depending on who's report is more accurate. It also seems that the guaranteed portion of the contract kicked up to $5 million if Smotlz spent just 60 days on the active roster.

Smotz has earned a little over $130 million over the course of his Hall-of-Fame career thus far with the Braves. And unless his now ex-wife (who divorced him this past year after 16 years of marriage) took him to the cleaners, he shouldn't really be hurting for money.

So if its not a money-related move, then that leaves the two possibilities that he felt disrespected by the Braves organization, or he merely wants to take the best shot available at getting back to the World Series and winning another ring.

The disrespected line I'll buy, but its a slippery slope on both sides. However you slice it; Smoltz is a huge injury risk. He's 41 years old, and coming off a repair of his lab-rum and rotator cuff. After the Braves have had to eat large contract's like Mike Hampton's due to injury, I can understand their trepidation in guaranteeing Smoltz's contract for the 2009 season. To be fair their offer gave Smoltz a chance to earn quite a bit, it just didn't guarantee it.

So Smoltz feels that $2.5 million less guaranteed is a slap in the face? What about the previous $130 million you've earned jackass? What about the $8.5 million you got to ride the pine while injured in 2000? What about the $14 million you got for a whopping 28 innings pitched last year? Why Smoltz are you willing to turn your back on the Braves and your fans for a measly $2.5 million guaranteed?

On the other hand, its tough to realize the Braves are willing to let him slip away over such a small amount. I feel that they gave him the proper amount of respect with their offer while at the same time protecting the organization in the case that he doesn't return from injury well. Yes the organization still has lots of payroll to spend this offseason, but it would be better spent finding a more durable frontline starter, or a power-hitting left-fielder to protect Chipper Jones in the lineup.

Tim Kurkjian's recent article outlines how Smoltz is an unparalleled fierce competitor, and it makes sense to argue that Boston has a better chance to win the World Series next year than the Braves do. But here I thought John Smoltz stayed with the Braves for so many years out of loyalty. Apparently not. Smoltz was only ever granted free agency in 1996, and in 2001. 1996 was the Braves last trip to the World Series, and 2001 their last trip to the NLCS. I gag a little to think that Smoltz has wanted out of a Braves uniform for a long time.

I'm now glad that I decided a couple years ago to get a Chipper jersey rather than one of Smoltz's. But Chipper is apparently not happy with the way things were handled; hopefully they do him right when the time comes.

God I hope the Braves make it back to the World Series this year (as improbable as that may be) and Smoltz gets to watch from home.

And Now For The Starter's Gun...

I've been thinking about starting a blog of my own for some time now. I suppose now I will have to curtail my weekly quotient of blog-surfing. But maybe that's a good thing.

Don't suspect I'll settle on a specific theme for quite some time. I can certainly guarantee plenty of discussion about movies. Will probably mention baseball from time to time. And there will possibly be some talk of poker as well. Other various topics as well as they arise

For now....I'm going to cheat and repost my latest Myspace blog.

Originally posted yesterday morning

title: something's missing

I was loving life; on cruise control for the last few months, and now the train's derailed. Something's missing...I think I need a new hobby

(edit. this blog ended up being ALOT longer than I thought...I apologize in advance)

I'd like to kid myself and say that what I really need is a hobby because what I'm really scared to admit is that I really need is a change of venue.

Growing up on the Outer Banks, I've become attuned to the laid back lifestyle. But I think I've misapplied it to my own life. Instead of simply being laid back, what I've become is just flat-out lazy. I've never been surfing despite having lived here for nearly all my life. Part of that was my tendency to do my best impersonation of a radish after any prolonged sun exposure. That and I wasn't that athletic growing up. I suppose I hold some sort of misguided grudge against learning how to surf now. Might be quite like when I finally went skiing for the first time when I was 20. Being the oldest in the beginner's class was quite embarrassing.

So the reason I feel I need a new hobby now is due to my abundance of free time, and energy. I naturally have a tendency to over-analyze whatever it is I have tuned my focus to. Leaving things open-ended just sort of eats at me constantly. I've given myself this free time, but I'm not doing anything constructive.

I find myself these days needing to right a capsized ship, but unwilling do it quickly. Coming off my whirlwind stint on the Fun Ship Ecstasy. I found myself in a small financial hole. My following job in Las Vegas would have all but erased the hole, if I hadn't practiced bad game selection and lost a significant portion of my pay. So I find myself at home, needing to make money. But following my unceremonious dismissal from the breakfast shift at a shiteous 24-hour cafe in a second rate casino, I had little desire to go back to waiting tables (even though I figured it might be the easiest way to get back to black. I was determined to log some job experience to diversify my paltry resume. So now I work at the paper. My first 9-5 job.

My last blog notwithstanding, I can usually leave my thoughts on work, at work. So that gives me 6-7 hours per day, and many more on the weekend for myself. My three favorite things: poker, movies, and baseball just aren't doing the trick. I was consumed for the first three months of this year by a new diet. The diet itself and my adherence to it was very passive aggressive. It wasn't the most strict of diets, but I stuck to the parameters very closely. I lost a small amount of weight each week, and have finally plateau-ed for the last 3 weeks (a good 30 lighter than when I started).

Another solid I did myself with the diet, was cutting alcohol out altogether. Now that I've reached my target weight, I've slowly let certain concessions back in, but I've come to the realization that I've had a significantly destructive relationship with alcohol throughout the years. My problems pale in comparison to those of many others, but I fully recognize that I have at times self-medicated with a blackout. I see how often I would go out intending to drink to excess. I've discussed these revelations, and many people have told me how great it is that I can recognize these things. I think thats a crock. It doesn't take the feelings away. I've felt genuine frustration in the past couple of nights, and heard myself say inwardly, "I need a drink" for the first time in months.

So we come back to why I need a new hobby. I need something therapeutic. Something simple. Something mindless. I'm considering knitting.

Being that I'm slowly chipping away at at debt, I can't really afford to play poker. I've been entrenched in free bar-league poker since September. After the first 'season' I had told myself that I didn't want to play as often as I did in the winter. And yet I find myself there five nights out of the week. I pray regularly for something worthwhile to present itself each week night, to give me an excuse not to go. I occasionally play micro-stakes online, but that's ultimately more stress-inducing than stress relieving.

I've hit a rough patch the last few weeks with movies. I now juggle three different sources for movies: the theater, netflix, and the new bane of my existence = redbox.

The summer season for movies is almost upon us. My only foible now is waiting to see movies that I want to see. Ever since way back, I've never had a problem going to the theater by myself. The movies never made sense to me as a group activity. Particularly as a date they seem like a huge copout. You would take a girl to the movies with whom you have trouble finding things to talk about. In the past couple of months I've tried to go with different people to the movies. I guess it just sort of grates on me in a very self-involved way.

Netflix bothers me in patches. Occasionally I threre's a flick I want to watch that is the kind of movie that one needs to be in the proper frame of mind to watch. And sometimes that frame of mind just eludes you for an extended period of time. Case and point was Ang Lee's latest movie Lust, Caution. I held on to that one for nearly a month before finally struggling through it the other day. It didn't come close to my three-month "not-flixing" record (still held by the Seven Samurai; which I didn't watch). Caution Is a wartime, period piece with subtitles. And I can't watch it with anyone else because of its explicit content (if I were Kevin Smith I would refer to this as hardcore boning). Most of the time when I doze off the first time I watch a film I give it a second chance, but I just knew it might be another month before I gave it a chance again, so I wrapped it up. I've also found that since I've begun using redbox my netflix usage has slipped.

Redbox is fantastic. $1 a night, no clerk to ask if I want damage protection, online reservation. Because its so difficult to get new releases timely from Netflix, I find myself redboxing every "new movie tuesday." I've only had to keep three movies so far longer than the first night, and still is cheaper than going to the movie store (where I used to go for new releases). They actually enticed me back yesterday with a free rental, because I hadn't been in so long. The only problem with juggling these three sources of movies is that recently its made watching movies more like a chore for me. I would have never thought that was possible.

And baseball. My Braves are no longer nationally telecast (tear). They've had too many ridiculous injuries to their pitching staff already this year. Hopefully when I go to see them play the Mets in September everything is peachy keen. The most enjoyable part of my job has been covering local baseball. I few comments from some parents in the past couple of weeks, has polluted my serene baseball lake enough to bug me just a little bit. I'm driving all the way to Hatteras tomorrow night again (and if another parent makes some kind of comment about how we never cover their sports teams again; I will do one of three things: I'll laugh loudly in their face, hand them my most recent gas receipt, or slash their tires)

So I apologize to anyone I may have freaked out with my recent neuroses. I'm trying to mellow the fuck out. The things that I obsess over, pale in comparison to many things my friends are struggling/dealing with. Feel free if you are one of those people to ask me if I want some "cheese with that whine," and to shut my trap. I just need something to occupy my mind.

I've looking into picking up some random catering shifts with High Cotton. From the way I understand it, it is the simplest work, and the pay is in cash. I'm looking forward after this week to an uncomplicated tax return next year (while praying for my first refund in years). I think I've mentally blocked my recent tax check, because it was simply laughable that i didn't save nearly enough for it over the past year.

Feel free to leave a comment, or a leave similar rant if you like. We all need a good vent sometimes. I will also respond kindly to these rants in a pm if you don't feel like sharing them with my huge blog-audience (I think I had 11 views on my last one; though they could have been the same person 11 times--I don't really know how that counter works)